Major Foot in Mouth!!

Okay, so this story has to be the first one I tell you. I about croaked when this happened and still have not been able to live it down with the officers that work in the Behavioral Health Unit. Just to warn you...always keep in mind what you say to people and always think of all the little cliches we use in our daily life, it might come back to bite you one day unexpectedly!

The Behavioural Health Unit is where we house the inamtes that have mental issues, some criminal, some truely insane, some just appointed there by the judge for their own safety and the safety of the public. This was my favourite unit to work in. At specific times of the day the pharmacy staff goes into the unit to pass meds to the inmates who line up in front of the medicine cart, which stores their medications in cardboard backed bubble cards with their name and prescription on it. There is always an officer present and depending on what tier you are working, there can be two or three present. The inmates are required to bring a see-through cups full of water, you give them the medication that is ordered, they take it in front of you, the officer checks the inmate's mouth to be sure they are not "cheeking" their meds. They like to do all kinds of funky things with their meds, like crush it up and snort it, pass it off to another inmate who might be told it's something else that they desire, or just taken to the toilet and flushed because the inmate feels they don't need the medication.

The inmates in that unit know me and have found that I won't put up with any shinanigins and so respect my pill call. However, one day I had a new guy in the pill call line and he did not yet know about my "don't-set-your-water-on-my-med-cart" rule. For the most part, I'm pretty easy-going and put up with a little joking around or even smart-ass comments because someone is having a bad day and I usually give an inmate one time to screw up.

This new inmate approached my cart and I was familiar with the name but knew nothing else about him other than he was "certifiable" and I just needed to keep an eye on him. He was not threatening or beligerant but rather quiet and pleasant and spoke with a gentle tone. As he approached my cart he automatically set his water cup down and waited for me to dispense his medication. Immediately, I notified him that "I only had one rule while in my pill call line. Never put your water on my cart!! If it spills it goes down into the cart and destroys everyone's pills and then we have to reorder everything new." Then I proceded to tell him, "if your water spills, heads are going to roll!" I was smiling of course while I said this, just a cliche everyone uses daily without a second thought. However, it didn't have quite the response you would expect.

Things had suddenly become quite in the line behind him while his fellow inmates watched him and me very closely. He stopped drinking his water for a moment and looked at me with a very puzzled expression, then took another drink and started away from me to show the officer his mouth then looked at me again with a very tiny grin on his face, like he knew something I didn't, then walked back to his cell. The officer standing next to me me burst out laughing and said, "I'm glad he's on his medications!" It took me by surprise and I asked "why", but all I got was an "I'll tell you later."

Later I wanted to curl up and die of embarrassment!!! The officer told me, after we had left the tier and I was safely locked back up in the med room, that this inmate had been convicted of murder because he believed his landlord was the Devil and had to be killed, so he killed him and used his head as a bowling ball rolling it down the hallway until the police detained him.